I’ve realised that quietly, in the back of my mind I am waiting. It hasn’t happened yet, so I just have to wait a bit longer. I am waiting for things to return to normal.
Some things are changing. My daugher is now on school holidays. After three months of home-schooling, this feels like a return to normal – at least holiday clubs are open. In September, schools will re-open and that will feel normal.
I have crept back out into the world. I have returned to writing in cafes. I went on a train. Everything is quiet, everyone is a bit timid and subdued, but that’s ok because things aren’t back to normal yet.
Parental responsibilities during lockdown have meant my working time has reduced to anything from two days a week to zero. Work is quiet. But that’s ok because we’re still waiting. Everything is shut down at the moment, isnt it?
But then I notice the office that I just cycled past is full. The ring road is busy. Delivery lorries roar down my road. Eight builders are hard at work in my own house.
I feel like I missed the starting gun because I was waiting for a different race.